As I think I mentioned, a few months ago I started to rewrite the first half of my novel. I'd known for quite a while that I needed to do it. By the time I finished my rough draft last Christmas, I understood the characters, the plot, and the world so much better than I had when I started the book in 2009. The first half of the book was unfocused, the characters weak, the plot meandering, the motivations unclear. Luckily, armed with the knowledge I had gained writing the second half of the story, I was ready and willing to roll up my sleeves and get to work fixing the beginning of the book. I made notes, diagrams, drawings. I brainstormed and made lists and outlined chapters. I filled 28 pages of my notebook.
And then I started writing. And it was great!
...at first.
The story felt stronger, the characters more real, the plot less meandering. Big Chimp and I were exchanging a chapter a week of our respective novels, and his advice and suggestions were invaluable to me.
And then he made one suggestion that made my heart sink. And the reason it made my heart sink is that it was something I'd thought of myself, and now that someone else had said it, I couldn't ignore it. The suggestion was to change the beginning part of the story, so that early on two or three characters disappear, and the protagonist and sidekick then have to go searching for them (in the original version, all of the main characters stumble upon the faerie world together). There was no doubt in my mind that this would make the novel stronger and more interesting. But it would mean undoing months of work—work that I felt had been going well, work that I felt good about. I was already nearly 20,000 words into the rewrite, and now the majority of those would have to be undone. Forehead, meet keyboard.
I'm surprised by how much this has disheartened me. I find myself questioning everything about my story now—can I make it work? Will the changes make sense? Will I ever finish the manuscript? Will anyone ever want to read this? Is it just a waste of my time?
I know that the basic story is a good one, and I know I have the ability to write well. But I sometimes struggle with combining these two things in a way that will do the story justice. Add that to the fact that I've already been working on this novel for two and a half years, and you can see why lately, instead of feeling excited about my book, I've been feeling frustrated, and a little discouraged.
Big Chimp suggested, helpfully, I alternate between working on Water Magic and working on something completely new, in order to put the fun and excitement back into writing. I do have a couple of side projects that I've been playing around with over the past year, but a big part of me just wants to power through this draft of Water Magic. Maybe once the rewriting part is finished, and I start to write new chapters to link the new beginning to the end of the novel, the writing will be fun again. I hope.
So, writer friends, what about you? Have you faced tough writing decisions before, and how did you deal with them?
I think discovering that you've wasted a bunch of time and effort on a piece of writing that you have to cut is one of the most disheartening things a writer has to deal with. Especially when you JUST wrote it. Sure, there's the whole "you always learn something when writing," but that doesn't make it better until everything's said and done.
ReplyDeleteI like to marinate on decisions for while. Unfortunately I also combine that with not writing anything, so I stagnate sometimes. >_> Working on more than one project is a good idea though. Seems like it would keep a steady work process going. :)
I wish you luck getting get back into the zone! <3
I've actually been cautiously warning my students about this exact thing. Based on your blogs I've been having my 6th and 7th graders set up groups of 3 as alpha readers. As they go along I push/encourage them to exchange their work with one another. Many of them are finding this SO rewarding.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have been telling them that revision is a huge - and expected - part of the writing process. But, once they finish a full draft they may need to set it aside for a day or two before the overall editing begins. Otherwise they won't feel that feeling of successful completion. They skip right to "What did I do wrong?"
On a more direct comment to you - the more you mention your revisions the more my interest grows. I know you have been working hard on this (2 1/2 years worth). I feel confident in saying that no matter how long it takes, it's going to be a book worth reading. I'll set aside money for my hard cover copy.
You have turned into a great example for my classes. My grading is based on my students' willingness to try their best and their interpretation of their own work.
Keep it up!
P.S. Tell Big Chimp I said hello ;-)